An Open Letter To Mariah Carey Christmas Haters

Hey Girl Holiday

I am a holiday traditionalist, Christmas music before Thanksgiving is unacceptable (if the rest of the retailers in America could get on board with that I would appreciate it). For me the official start of the holiday season is signified with one very important song: “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey. From the first twinkling notes of the intro I know what is coming and my soul gets excited. I will stop whatever I am doing, including picking out avocados at the grocery store, and fully commit to a lip-syncing dance session.

While I take a break from holiday stress to revel in the soulful playfulness of a truly classic song I can’t help buy notice you:  the person rolling their eyes at the very same song I look forward to hearing on repeat for the entire month of December. For some reason you can’t buy into a song that, even 21 years after it’s release, is still trending on the Billboard Chart.

“All I Want For Christmas Is You” has all of the important components of a successful MC song: a booty-shaking beat, fun lyrics, that really high note you never attempt to hit, and flirty smiles and cleavage throughout the music video. When I was a teenager it was a welcomed holiday pop anthem covered in tinsel, glitter, and red velvet, and I’m not the only one.

“Ah, my junior high years. The ‘Butt Rock Era’ full of hair metal bands and tight pants. Mariah Carey crashed into that scene with big hair and tight pants, but with that big diva voice and high notes like no other. Being that I was a little punk rock skater kid I thought I  was too cool for Mariah. Secretly though, I was a closeted fan who would sing along to “Vision of Love” when it came on the radio. At heart, I am still that same little skater kid but I no longer shy away from a little MC love. Her Christmas album is fantastic! Today I proudly proclaim “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is in my top 3 favorite Christmas songs. Who can resist that intro when it comes on the radio? Certainly not this girl!”

-Sarah Stout Proteau, Skin Ninja

“ (All I Want For Christmas Is You) takes us back to a time when life was simpler- a nostalgia in our lifetime- not our grandparents’. That range of hers was unlike any holiday music before and no one has out-sung her since.  Her Christmas album is a middle finger to the patriarchy, take that Bing Crosby. Nothing captures pure joy and girlhood fun like Mariah. When ‘All I Want for Christmas’ comes on I’m 12 years old again singing at the top of my lungs and dancing. Her vibrato melts the stress of the world away. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? I’m pretty sure it is”

– Rosuara Unangst, Pigment & Parchment

We’re not trying to turn you into a fan, secretly we know you already have the lyrics memorized. We’re asking you to understand how important Mariah Carey is to our holiday experience and maybe just shut up and let us have this time of year.

PS – we will never tell if you join in on the lip-syncing dance party action either.

Hey Girl, what do you say?

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