The Happiness Choice

Hey Girl, lets talk being a single gal. A few months ago I want from being “in a relationship” to frantically trying to figure out how to change my relationship status on Facebook without everyone in the universe knowing before I had time to process and tell people on my own terms (note to self: never use relationship feature on Facebook again) The ending of a relationship sucks, there are a lot of memories, sadness, confusion, and frustration all slammed together around one life event. Unwinding your life from someone is uncomfortable and a little scary, but you already know how I feel about fear.

Why is it that when you tell people you are no longer in a relationship their immediate reaction is “I’m Sorry” ? Can we stop doing that please? I mean if you are in a relationship that sucks I hope that you wouldn’t stay (that is sometimes known as settling, and you are way too good for that). I understand things can get ultra complicated when you thrown in shared housing, animals, marriage or kids but in the end happiness is a choice, we all deserve a shot at it and a chance to get there on our own path. So if you are friends with me and you tell me that you are single again I will say “I hope you are happy. Let’s go celebrate your new adventure with champagne”

Needless to say there has been a few champagne corks popped in the last few months celebrating new adventures, a new apartment, and a new path for happiness. On a random side note if anyone knows how I can make the champagne cork popping sound my text message alert I will give you the best high five of your lifetime.  My friends and family continue to prove why I love and value them so much by joining me in celebrating new chapters. I am rediscovering the joys of being single, which a lot of times means being alone with my thoughts…and you know what? Being alone is kind of awesome. The list of awesomeness includes, but is not limited to:

Watching every television show Bravo airs (even Real Housewives of New Jersey) without anyone asking to change the channel, a brownie hot fudge sundae is considered an appropriate dinner, morning breath? who cares, drinking the whole bottle of wine…no one will know, sleeping in until 10am, clothing is always optional (just make sure the shades are drawn), and sleeping in what I like to call the “starfish” formation.

Friends, this is just the beginning too! What I am really loving is reconnecting and strengthening friendships, focusing on career and life goals, trying new hobbies (so much DIY decorating in my future) and helping spread some inspiration and happiness to the small part of the universe I interact with.

Like I said, we all deserve it however we get there (and however many relationships it takes). As a wise Pinterest pin once told me “Your Value Doesn’t Decrease Based on Someone’s Inability to See Your Worth” So shine girl, like super bright.

 

5 comments

  1. I agree that happiness is a choice, and one we all deserve. But just ask my parents who have been married for 42 years and my in-laws who were married for 46 before papa passed away this summer…love is also a choice. Commitment is a choice. You have to wake up every day and re-commit yourself to the person you want to be with. So although you should be in a relationship that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, I just think it is important to remember that you will not feel happy EVERY moment or even every day. I feel bad now that I have said to friends “I’m sorry” when they become single, that was selfish of me. I just see people getting divorced left and right and it makes me sad. I worry people give up too easily. Like my hubby says, “The grass may look greener, but that grass will get brown or too long eventually, too.” Or something like that. I think Justin Bieber said something similar.

    • Amanda I could not agree with you more! Love is definitely a choice as is committing to love. How fantastic that you have great examples of how that works in your parents relationship and even better a hubby that is committed to loving you through peaks and valleys (and quotes Justin Bieber?!) Much like breakups relationships can sometimes be confusing and leave people feeling like less then they are really worth. Those are what I call make or break moments, you have go all in and give 110% to working on what you control in that relationship. If you are with someone that is not committed to love or communication or compromising or whatever issues there are to work out and you have given every ounce of what you have, I hope you choose to be happy. Your better half should be your best friend, soft place to fall, and keeper of all your secrets. Which I am totally sure Ryan Gosling would be great at all of those 🙂

  2. I’ve always been annoyed with the “I’m sorry” response to break ups. Then I always sound like a bitch when I say, “Well I’m not, it’s a good thing!” But seriously, why do we immediately go to being sorry? It makes the assumption that being single is horrible and that the break up was crushing, without knowing any of the details.
    I also completely agree with all of your reasons why being single is awesome. 🙂

  3. I love this – “I hope you are happy. Let’s go celebrate your new adventure with champagne.” I am divorced and a single mom, it is always hard to tell people I haven’t seen for awhile and get the “Ohhhh, I’m sorry” pity face. I am happier now than I was in my marriage!

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